Life Goes On.

When Steve is sick life presents me with new challenges.

Like most women, when we are sick, we get up, drink our coffee, and go to work. If we sneeze we bring in a box of Kleenex, as to avoid spreading the germs. If we have a cough, we bring in Halls. If we have a sore throat, we drink tea. If we have a headache, our purses {and desk drawers} are stuffed with extra Tylenol. We continue to work, look like we are dying and when everyone asks if something is wrong, or tells us to leave early we say we are fine -its just the sniffles. When we leave, we get back into our cars that are covered in dirty balled up Kleenexes and we drive home. Upon which we take out the dog, make dinner, put in a load of laundry, and then if God is good we crash on the couch, surrounded again by dirty Kleenexes. That is at least what I do when I am sick my friends...

Men on the other hand...well...we all know what they do, and most is not listed above. Men, rarely use Kleenex, don't ever have cough drops, forget making their own Tea, and usually refuse to feed themselves. We can forget about doing the laudry or making dinner because...they don't do that anyways... I say this all the time, how did we as a world get this far if it was only run by men. Flu season would have put us behind every year! ha ha

I hope Steve feels better tommorow...and I hope I don't get sick too. :)

Mani

I painted my nails this evening. With all that has been going on today and this week, and this month I feel this was a major accomplishment and I won't listen to anyone telling me otherwise.

P.S. Steve is sick. What were those words of wisdom...oh ya...here they are.

When he is sick, he will expect that you drop everything and attempt to rise to the level of care, devotion and perfection that defines his mother. You will inevitably fail at this mission, so it's bets just to let it go.

The Sell Out

What did you want to be when you grew up?

For some the idea of being a wife and mother was all they could ever want. A family, someone to take care of them, someone to take care of. To belong to something greater than themselves. To do something worthwile. To feel the love of a child, one of the greatest feelings of all.

For some they wanted to change the world. They wanted to make it better/different/louder/softer/bigger/smaller and/or more religious. They saw a need for change and betterman-ship.

Some wanted to rule the world. They wanted the whole world to see how great they are and have become. They wanted to opress, regress, and make their mark. They feed for more attention, therefore they tighten their rule.

Some had some dreams. Now they can't remember what they were. But they weren't this. They weren't sadness, they weren't splitting hairs about right and wrong, they weren't being told what, how and when they do things incorrectly. They weren't being cut down. They distinctly can remember they were being lifted up, being praised, being respected. They might not have a face anymore but those dreams didn't include tears. Or waiting...and waiting. What they wanted to be is far far gone, and who they are isn't the face they recognize in the mirror. Each day they sink deeper and deeper into a black hole. They can't even dream anymore, they dont' know what they want for the future, they can't see that far. They can only feel the now and wipe the tears. Maybe they held on too long, maybe they held out for more. Maybe one by one the numbers were drawn and they were left holding the loosing ticket.

Maybe they sold out?

Carrying Less Baggage

Today I realized that I can breathe. deep. I have to get to work but I also feel free in a way today. I have been thinking about things, and trying to determine if I feel sad at what happend or sad that it happened in the way it did. 2 different things. I am sad that it happened the way it did. It wasn't mature, and it wasn't resolved, but I do feel freeer and I do feel happier and I when I think about making amends, I feel depressed, and weighed down by the thought of trying to reserect that relationship. I wish it hadn't of come to that, but it did. I wish I wasn't glad to be rid of it, but I am.

These thoughts came to me today when I was flipping through a drapery catalogue.

In The Sunlight

I noticed this morning, as the winter sun shined through the patio door into the kitchen, that my kitchen table was covered in crumbs. Hunh, funny how you can see crumbs better in the sunlight.

What a way to wake up in the morning, I'll tell ya. :)

Tea In Spring

I can't help it...I am thinking Spring. I am sooooo soooo sick of the cold and the snow and the gray days. I want to open up the garage door to spring! I want to be able to walk down the sidewalk with out stumbling through the snow and the ice. I want to see the dafodills I planted in the spring come up by the tree on the tree lawn. I want to talk walks with Sofie...I want to drive with my sunroof open!

Ohhhh Spring, won't you come sooner?

Quotes

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge,
that myth is more potent than history,
That dreams are more powerful than facts,
That hope always triumphs over experience,
That laughter is the cure for grief,
and I believe that love is stronger than death.
~Robert Fulghum

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.
~Author Unknown

While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil.
~John Taylor

As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us.
~Sascha

God Bless Liam

Today actually got worse for a whole different reason. My cousin's baby passed away. Little Liam was born with Trisomy 18 in August. While growning and thriving under his mother's devoted care and attention, he fought strong and couragously but passed silently this morning. He was such a miracle baby. Told they would never seem him alive he lived 1 day shy of 6 months. God Bless You Liam.

Sofie {Still} So Hurt

Sofie did not get better yesterday. -At All. She actually seemed worse. On the ride to the office she somehow scratched herself with her hind legs {she is itching very badly} and started bleeding while I was on the freeway. It was a nightmare. My father helped me settle her and we wrapped her with a towel, secured by the almighty packing tape. She couldn't scatch the wound and it held off until the vet could see me at 4:15. My dad followed me up there to help hold her. Which thank God he did because she was very restless, and squirly and I can hardly hold her back on a good day, let alone a bad one. Once again, Dad comes to the rescue. The vet said she didn't rip the stiches open though, and gave us a strechy gause to put around her body to cover the stiches...and then some powder for the itching.

What I want to know is what the f*&k these vets are thinking? Why don't they give you these things just in case these things happen? Or ask you if you would like them -just in case. Especially after her getting surgery on a Friday, they didn't call on sat or monday to see how she was. I am very upset at them, and am going to look around for a different vet.

Steve didn't make it home until 8 last night, I wasnt' able to leave and go to Jazzercise, and then we wound up fighting b/c of a whole bunch of things. Like his ability to spend money sooo foolishly... Finaly we gave Sofie a tramadol to make her sleep and she was out the rest of the night. I still feel like I got no sleep though. Maybe I should take one too...?

I am making no predictions about today. We'll see how it goes...

Sofie So Hurt

My sad sad baby.

Sofie got spade on friday. I havent' been posting in a while I know, but this particular weekend has been so challenging. My poor Sofie won't settle down, she constantly wants to lick her wound, and the razor burn is very itchy. We havent' been able to leave her more than a few short hours, and then when we got home her protective collar was mysteriously removed. On the very plus side, she and Steve seemed to have bonded greatly this weekend, as he was the only one that could calm her. She laid completly submissive in his arms as he gently rubed the surrounding areas of the wound. She wouldnt' let me do it as much. I think she must feel safer in Steve's arms. I firmly believe that if you are good to a dog {especially} when they are hurt they remember it with love forever. So it is nice to know that she loves Steve as much as she does me. That makes me very happy. And I know Steve feels so good about it too.

Today she seems a little peppier, she seems to want to play but not overly intersted in running. We took a walk this morning {not very long or fast} and she is sleepy now. This week I will have to find a balance between activities that keep her mind off her stiches, and tire her just a little so that she can rest. I have been using the pain meds sparingly, b/c its not good to overly medicate her. I use them at night or when she seems really uncomfortable.

In Other News: We have been really trying to get our lives in order! We have condensed some of the Steve Stuff and Genna Stuff to make it Steve and Genna Stuff. We bought a new desktop computer and are taking both of our old ones to my work so that we can keep up with technology! I'm so glad about that! I have been working on my wedding album {I know I wanted to do it in Jan, but am trying..} I have been re-decorating our master bathroom. It was such a modpodge before, so I bought some frames and hung some cool wedding photos up, updated our accessories, bought a towelbar, toilet paper holder, door hooks all to match. Which really is pulling the room together. I just have to finish the valances for the windows and get some new shades and all will be perfect. I dont' think we are going to paint in there. Although I want to, I would have to hire a professional because the celings are very high.

I have also been working on a photo collage of black and white wedding photos for our office room. I am so excited about that. Hope to get it done this month along with the wedding album pictures...

Here's to Sofie getting better, Valentine's Day, and my projects.