Frenemy

Steve asks me all the time why I still talk to HER. All of these thoughts have run though my head but I didn't know how to articulate them to him. So this is why SHE is still my friend, or at least until our argument, she was.

Frenemy-So why do women put up with fair-weather friends? The reason is simple: If a woman has invested a lot in the relationship, she is likely to work to salvage the relationship, despite the rocky moments, says Jan Yager, a relationship coach in Stamford, Connecticut

Ask yourself this question right after you have spent some time with someone:"Do I feel better or worse than I did before?"
The reasons can be varied but probably some if not all of the following emotions are coming into play. Once you’re aware of why you might be hanging on to destructive relationships, it can be easier to finally let them go.
1. You Want to Help
It's human nature to want to help people whenever you can. There's a fine line between helping and being a co-dependent for someone. For example, if you have a friend who just calls to tell you how bad her life is and never wants to hear how things are going in your life, this is most likely a draining and unhealthy friendship for you. You may also start to resent that they never have time to listen to you. And even though you want to help, you’re not because you’re only giving them attention for their negative attitude. If you are able to provide them with constructive steps which they listen to and do attempt to change their situation, then you should feel better after talking to them. You have helped them. If you’re just listening mindlessly to the same thing over and over, you’re not helping and you’re bringing your own mental attitude down. Be aware of whether you're helping or enabling someone.

2. You Want To Feel Needed
Everyone wants to feel like they provide value to the world. If we are there for our friends, it makes us feel like we’re valuable. After all, they need us, right? But as in the above post, we may not be doing a lot of good. And if that feeling of being needed is dragging down our positive mindset, then it’s a problem.
It was a hard lesson to realize I’d been used by someone who I thought was my friend. There's a fine line between being helpful and being used. And, when the situation is that you've been taken advantage of, it's far more damaging to your self confidence than any feelings of being helpful you could have had.
That's why it's important to pull the plug on any unhealthy friendships where you are just being used for what you can provide whether that's material objects, your time, or even just a listening ear. You deserve a relationship in which both give and take occur. If that's not happening then it may be time to move on.

3. You’re Afraid You Won’t Have Other Friends And You’ll Be Alone
It is better to be alone than to spend time with someone who is destructive to your self esteem. Unhealthy friendships can do enormous damage to your confidence levels without you even realizing it. Don't worry though. Once you dump the negative friends, you'll find your own attitude changes to be more positive and you won't be alone for long because you'll now be attracting upbeat people into your life. Once you attract those people who are sincere in their desire to bring out the best in you, you'll keep attracting even more friends. True friends who will be there for you, no matter what.

4. Regret
You worry that you might regret your decision to move on. Once you dump unhealthy friendships, you can't get them back, right? Maybe things will change and you'd regret dumping that friend. You just don't know. All you know is, you don't want to do something that you might regret later. Ever have these thoughts? Being protective of your own mental attitude and even your time, is not something to have regrets over. If you think about it, you'll probably regret that you didn't get rid of the unhealthy friendships sooner. By losing the negative, you then open yourself up to allow the positive to enter your life.

5. Desire To Be Liked
Did you know it's a fact that cults who want to recruit members play on this desire? They know it's human nature that you want people to like you so you’ll do whatever it takes to get someone to like you. Even if that means sacrificing your own self esteem. It's just not worth being liked by someone who isn't bringing out the best in you. The most important person for you to like is yourself and if you're hanging around people who don't want the best for you, you're not going to be liking yourself very much. Unhealthy friendships are definitely not going to make you happy which is what ultimately will attract others to you.

6. It’s Hard To Break Up With Friends
It’s hard to break up with friends even when they're unhealthy friendships. What do you do, have the “it’s not you, it’s me" talk? Seriously, it’s not always easy. They call, you talk them, they invite you somewhere, you feel it’s rude to say, “No”, so the cycle continues. You know they're unhealthy friendships but you just don't know how to end it.
First thing is to be strong and to believe in yourself that you deserve the best in relationships. Then, just start saying "No" when they call. It may be tempting to just not call them back when they call but you wouldn't want to be treated that way, so don't do it to someone else. The best policy would be to be completely honest with them and tell them how you're feeling. It may not be easy to be so honest but it's the best way.

7. You Feel You Have To Out Of Loyalty
You’ve been friends since high school. How could you break up with someone you've been friends with so long? Or they're your brother's friend so you feel obligated. People change a lot over the years and start going in their own direction. If you decide to change to become more positive and confident and your friends are stuck in old thought patterns, you're keeping yourself locked into a way of life you no longer want. You need to ask yourself, why do you keep the friends that are no longer helping you to achieve your goals? To be the best you can be, you need to move on from the unhealthy friendships.

www.life-with-confidence.com

Today

I'm Tired.

Illustrations

I have found some adorable illustrations that I will be using in my blog, in case you haven't seen them yet.

I Hear It Calling Me

Can You?
It calls my name, my fingers start twitching, my nose runs, butterlies start fluttering in my stomach, my feet begin to tap. I think of ways, I think of days, excuses, ideas, maybe even a few lies... I hear it calling me. Can you?

it's...the...mall...

Hello!
Damn I need clothes!

God's Angels

Dear Dear Little One.

My cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby 3 weeks ago. Not only is my cousin a full time hair stylist, a wife and mother of 2 other children she was also a bridesmaid in my wedding. She found out during her pregnancy that her child would be born with Trisomy 18. Babies with this don't live long and 50% die inutero. My cousin chose to carry her baby to term and take what God has in store. She never complained, never was angry, and still at 8 months pregnant was a bridesmaid in my wedding. She has always been so strong, but her strength has doubled and she is truly a wonderful mother. God Bless her, and Liam

Would I? Hmmm...

What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?

You would fall for the frat boy. You like to have a good time, and you want someone who's not afraid to go all out to have fun with you. Your man may belch at the dinner table, but you know you'll always have a crazy night ahead of you!

Soooo funny, because its kinda true, except Steve was in the Marines which is kinda a frat I guess.

Don't 'Cha Wish Your Birthday Was Hot Like Mine...Don't 'Cha?

How low can u go.

There is a point that one should not cross if one wants to remain credible in the future. You, however have gone way past that point, and not just with me, with almost everyone you come into contact with.

I was watching "Celebrity Feuds" and they highlighted the feud between Eminem and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, where Eminem took the "dog" way to seriously and threaten to beat him up! Forgetting of course that the rest of the world thinks he looks ridiculous arguing with a dog puppet. Never the less, people like Eminem don't really care because they look ridiculous all the time. Such like someone else I know.

So I got into an argument with a friend today. I won't go into the background information, but I will say that this is a person who gets into altercations with everyone she knows. She embarrasses herself constantly with her crazy suggestions that the rest of the world give a damn about her--first. Never realizing that she only makes people dislike her more, and want to stay farther and farther away from her.

So our argument was over her birthday, in which because how dare I have other plans this past weekend, even though she never made any attempts to do anything for my own birthday, and nor did I care. At this point, birthdays are not top priority, as we are past the celebratory ages, and have not reached the big 3-0. So she proceeded to tell me that I am selfish because I had other plans over "her birthday weekend" and didn't reserve time for her. I informed her I didn't think she expected this of me, as my own birthday came and went with out notice. She of course told me it was "tit for tat" with me, and she put "countless time and money into my wedding". Which please do not let me go into it, because I will have to explain what a jealous bitch she was during the whole entire process and how she attempted to ruin my bachelorette pty.

Obviously this is not a friendship I feel comfortable nourishing any longer. But I will say this... What she did was lower herself to the Eminem-Triumph level. Fighting over a birthday like a 6 year old and then quickly logging off to get the last word. As my mother always said "when you leave you only have to show me your back, but when you return you will have to show me your face".

So friend, its gonna be hard to show your face around here again, Don't 'Cha Think?

Hooks

Aren't these cool?

Fall, Falling, Fell

This inspires me. As Fall quickly approaches I look forward to decking the house out with pumpkins and halloween decorations...Then it just gets damn cold. boo


















*images from Pottery Barn

Lets End This Little Tea Party

Now take off your dress off, and lets end this little tea party.
No one gives a fuck, if your sad in this world.

Funny Funny Stuff by Dane Cook. I dont even like him, but this is exactly what Steve does when I cry.
Hey whats going on, why do you sound like a bablling brook.
"oh I don't know I was just having a tough day"
Oh ya?, your having a tough fucking day, I was in Korea, I'm having a tough fucking life. You dont' even know how may tears I could cry. I could grow crops with my tears. No one gives a fuck, if your sad in this world.

Soooo what Steve would say.

A Bronx Tale

I LOVE The Bronx Tale! Some of my favorite scenes below.

I guess I love it because of the swearing and the fighting with a lesson around it. In some sense that is how I grew up. My parents swear and yell and fight, but I turned out damn good if I say so myself AND I know how great of parents mine are.

The bronx tale is just straight up ode to Italian-Americans of yester year. Love'em.

Calogero "C" With His Parents
Anello family eats steak once a week


Now Youes Can't Leave Scene
Sonny: That wasn't very nice. Now youse gotta leave.
Satan's Messengers: I'll tell you when the fuck we leave alright. Get the fuck away from me.
Satan's Messengers: {the bikers laugh at Sonny as he walks to the door} Go watch the bikes eh!
{Sonny locks the front door. All the bikers look and curse at him}
Sonny: Now youse can't leave.



Quotes:
Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
Calogero 'C' Anello: Just like that?
Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.

Collar Me Bad

This is it! The Coach Dog Collar Sofie Wants!!!

ID In Style

I want this too when Sofie gets older. With a pretty colar...maybe coach, I don't know. I'll post a pic when I find one.

Sofie Sooo Sweet

Isn't this cute! Now I just have to measure Sofie, Casey, and Diva's Belly Circumferences.

You can get it personalized with whatever you want. I'm thinking...
I'm Sassy Frassy, Who The F*@k Are You?!

Measurements Top Line Bottom Line Belly Circumference
X-Small 7 ¾" 6" 10 ½"
Small 9" 6 ¾" 12 ½"
Medium 10 ½" 8 ¼" 15"
Large 13" 9" 18"
X-Large 16 3/4" 11" 23"

Those Monks...

Are sneakier than I thought.


I now know what they REALLY used Tibetan Terriers for!


Paper Shreding.


I'm sure of it.

Children

What kind of child were you?

I am not trying to say it matters, this late in life, but well, Yes...maybe I am. We baby sat last night. Which it shouldnt be called because they arent' babies but they act like it. They are 5 and 1/2 and shouldnt' be drinking out of sippy cups or wearing pull ups to bed. But they do. They didn't want to share the box of crayons I bought or the coloring book. They had no idea about why dogs noses are wet, or why they sniff or why Sofie wanted to play with them. They didn't say please and thank you, or hello or good bye. They ordered me around like I was their waitress, and they wanted Blue Berries for breakfast. Not to mention they threw their wet pullups on the bedroom floor and complained about the smell when I told them to carry them downstairs and throw it out. Now...I'm trying to calm myself down here... What kind of child were you? I ask again.

I shared, even though I hated it, I gave my sister everything, it was fun coloring in the same book. I ate whatever people offered me, never asked for food at someonee else's house {thats just bad manners} and I never pissed in my "pull ups" when I was 5 and 1/2. They didn't have them over 20 yrs ago and that was a GOOD THING! I certianly didnt drink out of a sippy cup. Plastic cup yes, but sippy cup, I think not. I enjoyed the freedom of being a big girl. And I certainly knew about dogs, it helps that I had one, but I knew why they sniffed, and why their noses are wet and how they played. My world was a lot larger than I thought it was all these years.

All I can say is thank you mom and dad.

Something Of My Very Own

Do YOU have it? Something of your very own, that noone comes and infringes on? That noone comes and touches, moves or takes. That noone feels they can freely run up and manhandle? I don't.

We got a puppy last sunday, which is why I haven't been blogging, I've been pretty busy with our little baby. And I LOVE her.

When I write that I don't have something of my own, it is because Steve has excessively had friends over ~again. They come in {with out knocking} they grab the puppy {offering unsolicited advice} I mean it's not like I have had 3 dogs before this, eat, drink, fart, burp and piss all over the toilets, when ever they like.

I'm not going to go into this {I do it over and over} but I am truely sick of their faces, their names, and them touching my shit. But the icing on the cake was this morning when I had the puppy out trying to pee and poopie when I saw his cousing 'rounding the house for his gas cap! UGH the nerve. Is nothing sacred, nothing alone time, nothing mine?