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Let me ask you something. And I’m being serious here. Is violent vomiting bad for you? I mean, to the point of where your insides feel like someone is shoving a butcher knife through your intestines? Because that’s about how I felt the second he finished that sentence. You make me puke like I’ve caught the ebola virus, Andy.

They’re like a personality to him, or a sense of charm - completely foreign. This was one of the lamest solo dates ever. I half expected these two to end up in the sandbox filling up each others pails by the end of the night.

Whoa. I don’t know what to say to that, Andy. I really don’t. Other than you’re completely crazy and your porcelain veneers are making Elliot Yamin jealous.

Usually when kissing Andy, one tilts their head one way, and the other tilts theirs the opposite way. Or in my case about 10 years ago, the chick insisted on tilting her head the same way I did mine. That made for some really fun times. I sh**canned her immediately. Sorry. If you can’t get the head tilting thing down, you’re retarded.
-RealitySteve.com