About Me

I'm lost and not knowing
Scar'd up
But still flowing
Energized and still going.
-Tupac Shakur, Heartz of Men

There was a time several years back that I found great comfort in Tupac's songs. They say you seek out what you need at that time to comfort you. It was a time of confusion, anger and I guess, loneliness. I felt very alone in the world. I felt that my problems weren't shared by anyone, and I felt that at any minute I could break apart. Those are often the times I look to God as well.

I sit here in a place I've never sat and write a blog something I thought I would never do, but it actually comforts me. I always have a written journal, but this is nice too. I am scared and lonely. I don't have much reason to be lonely, but this is a major transition in my life, and I guess I putting myself in my shell and hiding under my critter cave, like Grazia does, to protect myself. And they more I back up, the more I am alone.

I feel like I could cry right now. Cry for the journey I took almost a year ago, that led me to the same sad state of affairs. I could cry for the pain I endured for nothing. I could cry for the money I spent on nothing. I could cry, and then I would be just washed up and depressed. So at least right now, I have the option of tears, after that I will be completely desolate, and depressed. I know, I've been here before. What I don't know is if I can ever come out of it.